I could not think of a title that best describes this year.
I have been a stranger again, so let us catch-up.
What has been happening?
I am assuming we all know that I now have job in corporate. A legal advisor to be precise, on the 29th this month it will be exactly 4 months since I started at my first real job after articles.
A lot has changed.
I passed all my board exams and early next year my application to be admitted as an Attorney of the High Court of South Africa will be moved in Court, a dream will finally come true. I remember how that dream was what helped me get through the last 2 years of my degree with the help of therapy, finishing that degree meant I started and finished something that I wanted for my liberation-maybe even for my justice. It was nice to finish, and finishing articles meant that again I am able to finish something-life did not end at the rape scene in Inanda in 2016 after all.
Getting a job that I applied for myself, going through interviews on my own meant that through grace I can do life beyond the help of certain people. It has been healing for me, my life did not just change financially but it also gave me a bit of mental freedom. I am free to decide who do I communicate with, who is welcome in my life and which doors do I shut. This type of freedom is more liberating than the freedom of living in own studio apartment which I love more than anything. 2022 has been filled with rollercoaster rides, the highs are high and the lows are really low.
One other thing that this job has provided for me is a bit of clarity of what do I want for my career, I am currently designing that, and it is safe to say that upon reflection I am certain I love the practice of law through litigation more than anything that this profession has to offer. So, my life will still change in many other ways and I trust God with how everything will turn out. On an honest note, in as much as I know what I want, I also know how scary it is and how safe my life seems right now. But what is life without risks? Things will change.
Habits must change
One of the reasons I am certain I have not succeeded in certain areas of my life is how I have not mastered certain habits. If I want a life different from 2022 I have change some of habits. The first being snoozing my 4am alarm. I have successfully switched off this alarm everyday, although I want to wake-up at this time everyday because I know how important this is for my future and what I am trying to build-I just always find an excuse. I need tricks on how to make this waking-up thing work, it has to be soon because it directly impacts every other part of my life.
Committing to the projects, books and every other thing that I start. I have so many unfinished things in the wild 2022, but I promise this time this year they will all be complete.
Another big project I need to work on is appreciating and acknowledging how far I have walked through life. How I have managed to continue to run after life even when so much has attempted to kick me out of the race. The funny thing about life is how it just does not wait for anyone, it is really up to you how or when do you want to run after it and continue with the race. Last month I drafted a blog, but anxiety crept in and I didn’t post it, by the time that I wanted to write-life had already moved on, the information on that post was no longer relevant. That is how fast this year has been and if I just listened to the anxiety I would probably not have the job I have right now, because most of the time anxiety tells me not to update my cv or send the application yet-the next thing a post has closed.
Biggest lesson of 2022 is that life waits for no one, if you wanna jump we cry or congratulate you and move on with life immediately, the show must go on. It doesn’t start or end with you-and that’s wild.